Who's a hungry hippo??

I is hungry! Here's my recap of how day two (Wednesday) of the evil Cabbage Soup Diet from hell went. Day two is veggie day. I could eat all of the cabbage soup I wanted along with all of the veggies I wanted with the exception of some veggies, like corn...which is one of the few that I actually like. So I ate my soup and some carrots. That was as much veggie as I could muster up the will to toss into my veggie hating body.

Exercise was absolutely out of the question for the day. I woke up with the girly flu and mind numbing cramps. Usually I grab a bottle of Captain Morgans, mix it with some rum, and drink till my guts stop hurting. But this cramp solution was not on my diet. So I suffered through it. I couldn't even have my usual bowl of dorito's mixed with m&m's or dunked in moose tracks ice cream. Nope. Not on the diet.

For dinner on day two you can have a large baked potato with a little butter. I don't know about you, but that's not a baked potato to me ,so I tossed a little bit of mild cheddar cheese on top. It was enough to just coat the top layer of potato. The part not touched by cheese was dry and bland so I just tossed it inot my soup. I had cut up a yellow squash also and cooked it up. After all that I could barely finish my soup I was so full. That wasn't even very much food.

So day two was tough. I registered absolutely no change in weight for the day. I guess it was good that my weight didn't go up. Otherwise I would have tossed the soup in the trash and that would have been that. I'm glad I made it through day two though because day three showed a bit of a drop in my weight.

Today is day three and it's eat all the fruit AND veggies and cabbage soup you can. Again, I haven't bothered with the veggies even though I know I should. I'd rather go hungry. And oooh how I'm going hungry. Also me and the bathroom are getting to be the best of buddies. No not in the Frawlz way...and if you didn't know he is absolutely obsessed with poop. I'm talking about peeing every hour if I'm lucky enough to hold out that long. I think all the alcohol I've drank over the last few years is getting flushed out of my system and I want it back!

I tried to do some Wii yoga early in the morning but the hunger pangs got the better of me and I gave up on that. I had a lovely breakfast of Cabbage Soup and a half a grapefruit that was smelling so ripe and yummy that I just had to eat it. Knowing that my energy level would be low due to lack of food I went out for a walk right after eating using the food for fuel. When I got back I did some more Wii Fit stuff...mostly boxing and step. I worked up the mother of all sweats too which is strange because I've been doing this routine for a while now and don't usually get all sweaty. Cabbage soup sweat stinks too if you were wondering. Yum.

I put off lunch for as long as possible but finally gave in and had more soup and some fruit. Right now I'm hungry, tired, and starting to get a little cranky. I tried to play some End Wars on Xbox 360 for a little while but my concentration level was down. I'm excited about tomorrow though because it's all you can eat banana and skim milk day!! Yipeeee!!

Check back tomorrow for how the rest of day three went.

I'm cabbalicious!

With less than two weeks left until the end of the Pinkest Loser competition for the SGPink show on http://www.sarcasticgamer.com/ and 6.4 pounds to lose I knew it was time to do something drastic. I had to do something severe. I decided to do the Cabbage Soup Diet. Now, I've done this diet before and it does work IF you can stick to it. Sadly enough I've never been able to. I don't like vegetables and it requires you to eat loads of them.

For those that aren't familiar with this form of dietary torture check out one of the many sites out there like this one. But I'll summarize...basically, for seven days you eat a shit load of cabbage soup. Some days you can eat other stuff like fruit or veggies, one day you even get to gorge on bananas and skim milk. Mostly though, you're just eating cabbage soup.

So yesterday (Tuesday) I started the diet. I had already prepared my soup the day before. Keep an eye out for pictures of the process whenever I get them uploaded. The first day you eat all the fruit you can with all the soup you can. I quickly realized how this diet works. After having cabbage soup for breakfast you no longer get hungry. You'd rather NOT eat than have to eat that. Just kidding. The soup actually turned out great. They say to use a large can of diced tomatoes and I got the kind with basil, garlic, and oregano in it. The soup turned out pretty yummy.

Fruit day was easy enough. I love fruit. My daughter and I went out Monday and picked out pineapple, little oranges ( I think they have a proper name), grapes, and a big bowl of mixed fruit that was wonderful. I choked down the soup for breakfast with a bunch of grapes and some black coffee. Tolerable, but barely so. Sometime after breakfast but before lunch I went for a walk and then did a little Wii Yoga. Lunch time was more soup and a plate of oranges, watermellon, strawberries, and grapes...Yum! By dinner time I was starving and craving protien. But I stuck with it and just had my soup.

We record the Pink Show on Tuesdays and I pretty much always have a drink for that. I brainstormed a bit and came up with the idea to make a smoothie and toss a shot of Pisco in it. Supposedly you can have a glass or two of wine on the first day so I figured this wasn't completely cheating. I made the smoothie with lots of the fresh fruit I had on hand, the shot of pisco, some ice, and a little orange juice. I even tossed in a multi-vitamin for good measure. It tasted great. Unfortunately about halfway through it the liquid was gone (having been sipped through a bendy umbrella straw) and I was left with half a glass of pulp. Blech.

Buzz aquired? Nope not a bit.

I did a crappy job on the show though and feel that was my worst ever. I'll just have to step it up next week. Between all my current life drama, cramps (sorry I'm a chick), starvation, and sobriety my mood wasn't the best.

This morning I dreaded eating the soup. I was already tired of it and my weight was the exact same as the day before. But I figured if I quit now then not only did I starve myself for a day for nothing...what the hell am I going to do with all this leftover soup? So I ate it and I didn't die. Check back tomorrow to see how I did with veggie day.

Trail of poo

I have this useless ability to find a meaning or metaphor in the most random of things. My weekend SUCKED. Flat out SUCKED. It was one of those weekends that makes you question life and humanity in general. A weekend that makes you wonder how people can be so heartless and cruel. So my solution was to pick up a 12 pack of beer on Saturday and try to drink it away. Now...the problem with starting to drink at 1pm is that unless you chug chug chug you aren't going to get a buzzed. Which I did not. Sunday I woke up still angry at the world and angry at myself for not getting drunk the day before. I was also angry that I didn't get drunk AND I cheated on my "diet". So I went for my usual walk and then walked an additional mile or so.
When I was almost done with my walk I came to an area on the sidewalk where a dog had poo'd. It was like a little trail of poop that went a pretty good distance. You go dog! I looked at this trail of poo and thought "Hmmm...this is my life right now" I'm walking down a trail of shit but eventually the shit runs out and it goes back to being just a trail. So I can see this weekend as a poop hiccup so to speak, a little shitty stumbling block..lol.

I won't go into all the details of why my weekend was so wretched...that would be immature and pointless. Man I hate being a grown up some days.



I'm bored with venting now...my head hurts :) Enjoy your day. I need to go find something greasy.

Hangover how I love thee.

There's something special about a really good drunken night. You say things you wouldn't normally say and sometimes lose your entire audio from your podcast. These things happen when too much Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka is involved. And by too much I mean more than half of the 750ml bottle. Yum!

When you wake up the next day with your head throbbing and a thirst that cannot be quenched your mind drifts back to the night before. Did my audacity really crash and take my entire podcast with it? Yes it did.

I have half a bottle of vodka left and two podcasts to attempt to record tonight :) Maybe I'll have another hangover blog for tomorrow too.

Pizza The Hut oh how I hate you

Dear Pizza The Hut,
Listen here you big fat greasy bastard. My diet was going well and then you ruined it!! Or maybe I did. Either way. I do not love you anymore.

No love,
Jax

Anyhow. We now only have three weeks of our Sarcastc Gamer Pinkest Loser competition and I'm not doing very well. Temptation is not my friend. So this week I'm hitting it hard. Eating healthy and exercising if it'll stop raining.

I guest starred on another podcast the other weekend and it's out now http://outoflives.com/?p=300 So check it out. I had a good time doing it. I leaked my secret to getting me to listen to your podcast if you have one. Our podcast is out this week too at www.sarcasticgamer.com the PINK show. I think Episode 15 is one of our best to date. If you haven't listened yet PLEASE check this one out and tell me what you think. Or else we won't be friends anymore.

There's not much else exciting going on to report in my life this week. I'm still unemployed. I drank one night last week which isn't too bad. Just three beers...three lovely import pints of yummy wonderful delicious beer. Must stop thinking about beer! It's raining outside so I'm glad I got my walk/jog in at 8am today. Um....yeah...no inspiration. I'm going to go find a blanket and some more coffee and do what comes naturally on a rainy day. Play Animal Crossing City Folk and do nothing.