The Perfect Housewife

I recently recorded with a new podcast this week. I had tried to work my whole day out so that the kids would be asleep and I'd have some time for a glass of wine and my favorite show to unwind before recording. But instead I had one of those long stressful days that I am trying to get used to since my husband has been gone. The baby is teething and not napping, my oldest is on strike from cleaning her room and angry at me for taking away her video games so she was giving me extra attitude that day. In addition to all that I was mad about some other things and royally pissed at my Astronomy Lab assignment (what else is new right?).

I may not have been my best on the show, but I'm new and it takes some time to get into a groove, time for people to get to know my personality and for me to know the personality of the others on the show. For the most part being on a new show should be a fun experience. However as soon as you put yourself out there you fall victim to comments and negativity.

Having spent 3 years on SGPink I never knew what it was like to be a new person on a show. I have a whole new respect for every girl we brought on over the years and what they must have gone through. I was nervous, petrified actually of screwing up so I was more abrasive and more Jax than I normally am and it was too much. I rubbed a few people the wrong way and stuck my foot in my mouth which is something I am unfortunately quite good at doing. For the most part, I thought the show was great. You don't realize as you're recording what a show sounds like until it's all put together. It really was a good show.

What I hate though is all the dumb comments you get from people who don't know a thing about you. I know they should never be taken seriously but one just rubbed me wrong:

"As a married women with children, I always put my family above gaming. It’s a hobby for me, it appears to be her JOB!!"

Now I am never going to be housewife of the year, but those who know me know this is the biggest load of crap on the planet. I am a stay at home Mom which you'd think would allow me more time for gaming but in all honesty...it really does not. I will get my AA degree in a couple weeks, a degree I earned while going through a pregnancy, then raising a baby, surviving a huge move for my husband and our FIVE children, and have spent the majority of this semester with a husband who has been too far away to help. I am on the honor roll, as are my children, we have even taken the time over the last couple months to raise a huge chunk of money doing the Breast Cancer walk last month AND the Extra Life fundraiser which benefits sick children. I cook real meals, I have a clean house, and I've spent the last couple days getting crafts and fun meals planned for a weekend sleepover party.

I WISH gaming were my job, I wish I had more time to play. During the daytime I might get a little gaming in, but it's all about the kids. Luckily my kids also love games which means I get to game with them. But to say all I do is game is silly. I've put 8 hours into Saints Row since I got it, and probably barely that much time into Skyrim. I don't get to go out. Gaming is my release, my break from my day once the kids have gone to bed and the toys have been picked up.

I will admit that I screwed up and didn't really portray myself the way I want people to see me. I really am a good person as my friends all know, I'm just not sure why I don't want the whole world to see that me. This has been an eye opener for me, and I know I have some things to work on. I am not perfect, for the most part I'm a big fat screw up, but don't call me a bad mom.